Living from your default

What is your default way of thinking? Are you aware of how much you complain on a regularly basis? Or do you know if your first thought is often more optimistic? What is beyond your conscious thought? What do you believe about the way you naturally are? Some think human beings are evil and selfish and that our societies create rules in order for people to be good and treat each other fairly. I’ve never believed this to be true.

Sure some folks have anger issues, and human beings can be really mean to one another sometimes. But when I became a mother and watched how my child interacted with the world, there wasn’t anger, just curiosity. And when he senses negativity or sadness, he will often respond with a hug, a quiet glance or a rare smile. As he becomes more confident and observant of the world around him, I watch as he mimicks his environment and the behaviors of those around him. He has a cousin who likes to point her finger in his face and do some major neck rolls as if she’s angry with him. He has learned how to do this back to her. He has other playmates who are into toy guns and often turns a stick, a bowl, a pencil into some type of imaginary weaponry, pointing it at various people while saying a “buh, buh” sound. I still get bothered by this game (a natural reaction of my pacifist values) but I also have to acknowledge that he will sit in meditation with me too. He will share, without my asking. He will hug strangers, just because. Are these learned behaviors? Who is he mimicking? What is his default?

I suppose that I’m not really arguing that all human beings are naturally, by default, good, positive people. But I know for sure that I am. It’s my learned behavior that gets in the way of me being calm. It’s my expectation for certain outcomes that brings disappointment. It’s my fear and mistrust that breeds anger and loneliness in my heart. But in my silent moments of meditation I sense all my “knowledge” melting away. What is left is just peace, a stillness and comfort in simply breathing. What is left is deep joy, a realization that my life is magnificent. What is left is great love, a genuine, recognition that the Divine exists within me.

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