Manifesting. You in?

WhatAreYouManifesting

Life is pretty incredible when you think about it.

You’re breathing.

Thousands of electrical and web-based services are aligning perfecting in order for you to see and read these words.

The sun is shining. You may not see it from where you are, but it is. Always.

And the thoughts you had last week, or last year are probably showing up as form for you today. Hmmmm…maybe I’ll keep this post first-person and say they are for me.

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My journey with manifesting, transforming thought energy into form, has been incredible. There are lots of folks out there with various definitions and processes and many have influenced my experience, but I’m careful not to take any One description over my own experience. This shit is the definition of subjective.

I choose to experience manifestation as a partnership with my guardian angels, higher (more evolved) Self(s) and sweet infusion of power that is the ether of the Universe. My life here on Plaent Earth, is simply a collaborative art project we’re creating together, but which I have the delight in orchestrating.

I get to manifest colds, happy days, wealth, walks in the park, poverty, cramps, orgasms, poetry, and millions of other experiences, behaviors and states of being. Outside of my life I contribute to the energetic states of others and what they are manifesting based solely on their agreement or disagreement with what I’m putting into their mind. For example, I have a pretty strong minded six-year-old son. Sometime, however, he does believe what I tell him about himself. For example, one day I tell him he is so messy. Over the course of the next few weeks he starts to believe it and makes more unapologetic mess. And after complaining about it, reminds me that I was the one that told him he was messy.

Right.

This is what manifestation looks like in my life, even within my own head. I used to have have an internal story in my mind (well ok, it still plays from time to time) that I was fat. No matter what the evidence told me, I knew my thighs were too wide, but belly too bouncy and my butt too …well actually I was ok with having a large arse.

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At my heaviest I weighed 175. Some would say that’s not so bad for an active woman in her thirties. But I was ashamed by it. Embarrassed. Frustrated. Slightly angry at my seemingly inability to not…buy…the…damn…gummies….again.

Whenever I focused on losing weight, I gained more. I tried dieting and expanded. I tried new workout routine (although I confess was never 100% committed) which failed. I tried just cutting out junk food, which didn’t last past my next menstrual cycle. So I went back to what works for me: writing.

I journaled for a few months exploring the reason why I held on to this weight. Why was I manifesting heaviness? How did the pounds serve me? Was I protecting myself from the outside world in some way? If so, what was I afraid of?

This exploration paid off. Once I found the core reason for why I was manifesting weight (for protection) and told myself I’m ready to let that go, it began to dissolve. Of course, not overnight…but within a few months I was 20 pounds lighter, without a simple change to diet or exercise.

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I share this story because manifesting is a gift. If we believe in the premise that we are creating our lives, then we have to accept that we created all of it. No that wasn’t easy to hear when I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 23. But it was empowering to utilize when I healed myself at 25 (seizure free since!).

Manifesting is an invitation to really explore what it is we think about our worth, our experience of balance in joy and in uncomfortable growth. I remember when nearly every area of my life felt like it was breaking down: my relationships, my finances, my profession (or lack thereof at that time), my sense of self. Yet there was one place I felt strong, in my ability to parent. And knowing that I felt strong and capable in that helped me to realign and trust myself (and my angel team) to rebuild my life.

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Today my life is incredible.

I have an awesome partner who adores me. Cucumbers growing in my garden. Delightful spaces to be vulnerable with those close to me. A gorgeous home with nourishing crystals. Financial security I only imagined was possible a few years ago. A deepening sense of awe for my self and this beautiful journey. And a break-dance loving little boy who delights in reminding me how to play.

Now it’s you’re turn. Tag! What are you manifesting today?

Writing

I started a new book project last night. It’s been simmering for awhile, and finally began to birth itself keeping me up until the wee hours of the morning. I like to think that my writing looks like this as I translate thought onto the page:

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But more often than not, it’s closer to this:

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No judgement. The work of my creative mind, right?

I’ve started big writing projects before, but this one feels different. I’m writing it for myself. It’s quickly becoming a collection of all the insight, support and encouragement I have soaked up over the last few years, regurgitated through me. And that’s what’s so interesting, because I cannot offer anything new. Only a rearranged presentation of wisdom that is ageless.

I often wonder what other writers think about their thinking as they write. No matter the genre, there is a major side-step when in the act of creative writing. Elizabeth Gilbert had a beautiful way of describing it in her Ted Talk. Yet it still leaves a lot unsaid. What is that mystery dance with the source of inspiration? Why do I also dread the dance with my own ego and the repetitive questioning of why I am writing at all. I find it easier to write if I imagine no one will ever see it. But this blog is teaching me that I can still speak my truth, regardless of the minds that consume my thoughts.

we write to taste life twice

This all boils down to writing to get the thought out. To expel the words from my mind and feel the relief of new space, openness for renewal. Or perhaps it is the complete opposite. Perhaps the reason matters less than the process and commitment to complete the message and learn a bit more about oneself in the process. Peace is in there somewhere too.