Masterful Manifesting

His eyes glistened. His words radiated through the theater quickening my heart with their tonality of strength and raw vulnerability. For a moment, the actor on stage was replaced with a beautiful young man, connected to the deep energetic essence of who he truly was. This was no longer a portrayal of imagination. He was sharing truth. And it lit up my heart.

I leaned over to my friend in the seat next to me and whispered, “I’m going to prom with that boy.”

With the dance only a few weeks away, she arched her eyebrows and responded with, “Ummm, do you even know him?”

I answered simply, “I will.”

I was sixteen when I first began to consciously attract what I wanted to experience. This is the essence of manifesting. That spring I was introduced to Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh, a trilogy that completely transformed my Christian upbringing and paradigm for viewing the world and my place in it. At the same time, the wisdom I recognized in CwG, was familiar, particularly the idea that God meant for life to feel good and for us to have what we desired. Heart-felt desire is the body’s alignment with the Soul’s intention. Desire can be utilized as a pendulum to gauge how to move forward. In the story I describe above, opening my heart to my future boyfriend and following that desire created a new trajectory of joy for my teen-age self. And yes, we had a fabulous time at Prom.

In the fifteen years since that day I’ve attracted many wonderful and thankfully fewer not so enjoyable experiences, people, financial situations and health status’. When I step back to review my life in this way I see the gift in each and every experience and I have to marvel at how genius Source/God/Spirit is to align everything so masterfully that I might grow and expand my understanding.

One area that I examine frequently is my love life.

Many of my beliefs started out defining love as romantic love because yea, I grew up on Disney movies and wanted a prince of my own. This limited definition of love has continued to hold a tight grip on my understanding and experience of love. My choice to believe that love was limited to its expression as romance or mothering was a reason many of my early love-relationships fizzled out. My choice to believe that love could withstand control and manipulation was one of the reasons my marriage dissolved. My choice to believe that love comes first from the outside and filters within was the reason it took me so long to finally get comfortable in my own skin.

Thankfully I’ve grown up and my ideas about love have grown up too. The progression of love I manifested into my life have mimicked my beliefs about love, including its limitations, its way of expression and its self-production. I’m finally at the point (on most days) where I feel a deep satisfaction for the quality of love in my life. Primarily, because I feel it from within. Yet every so often I yearn for the attachments I have to love appearing in a particular way:

princess delusions… boy-cinderella-girl-love-prince-princess-Favim.com-100965

overly dramatic… (but jeeze, wasn’t this film beautiful!?!?)notebook_hug

neediness…I-need-you-I-miss-you-I-love-you-3-love-10112773-1024-768

attachment to forever…US_NEWS_INTERRACIALCOUPLES_2_CC

So instead of giving these images so much attention, I’m learning to focus my manifestation energy on REAL LOVE.

  • Appreciation of continual growth and expansion.

rainbowtree

  • Recognition that I’m on the planet to be more than a wife and mother.
Women Who Look Ahead by Monica Stewart, monicastewart.com

Women Who Look Ahead by Monica Stewart, monicastewart.com

  • Acceptance that self-love is at its core about surrender. And surrender is about…

Trust

Trust in a universal mind that’s got my back. A consciousness that has already proven Itself a million times more effective in delivering me the good I most need at that exact moment. This is why love feels real when it’s about surrender rather than control. When it highlights vulnerability rather than manipulation. This is the type of love I’m manifesting into my life now. And it feels magnificent.

Yesterday, I came across (or was presented with) this video of Gabrielle Union sharing some of her journey to a similar awareness of self-love and manifesting a new way of being. I so rarely see actors be themselves, so was particularly amazed to see her vulnerability and the number of risks she takes to share her story. It influenced Oprah to have her on her show, which often correlates for me that it’s meaningful to listen to. I would love to hear your comments.

 

Lastly, I’m listing out some of my favorite books on the power of manifesting, in case it proves useful for your journey as well.

Life Visioning, Micheal Benard Beckwith

The Vortex, Ester & Jerry Hicks

Building Your Field of Dreams, Mary Morressy

Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity, Edwine Gaines

Advertisements

a crappy good life

A few days ago I posted this as my facebook status:

“Life is too magnificent for words.”

And then, less than a day later I found some perfectly descriptive words for Life, and they weren’t synonymous with magnificent.

KELIS-MAD-BLACK-WOMAN1

It was a good moment to remember the journey:

To accept the giddiness with the crap on your shoe (yes literally).

The moments of PMS and the extra reason for a salted dark chocolate high (honestly, if you haven’t yet tasted this, you haven’t fully lived).

The parenting exhaustion (mental and physical) magnified by the annoying friend or colleague or client and grocery store clerk. (Really, it wasn’t about them, I was already annoyed and just needed someone to project that onto, sorry.)

Just as there is always something to complain about, there is always ALWAYS something to feel grateful for. So instead of beating myself up about feeling frustrated about the crap, the sick child or the mental exhaustion, why not allow in some compassion and stop trying to change everything? Just be where I am. Even if where I am is:

  • Feeling lonely and DESPISE sleeping alone
  • Feeling slimmer, yet I can’t look at myself without criticizing SOMETHING
  • Taking major risks in being authentic and have FAILED. Miserably.

Usually my pattern is to take each of those instances and replay them over and over until I recreated a memory so much more terrible and unrealistic than what actually occurred that I will then attempt to avoid the memory altogether and fantasy about a future me that will never feel lonely, or ugly or a failure. I get that we all do what we pick up from our enviroment and perhaps this method serves some folks, but its certainly lost its luster for me. Looks pretty grey and down-right depressing actually.

Soooo ready to choose again.

One of the books I’m reading right now is The Serpent of the Light by Drunvalo Melchizedek. This book has my spiritual notions all up in a back-end twist. His description of human relationship to the Planet and the ever rising consciousness of both goes beyond anything I could conceptualize before. What I’m hearing from this book is that you cannot fail. It’s not possible for the world to implode. There is a conscious Intelligence, whose complexity is beyond our most advance super computers. And that the truth that ‘all is well’ can be found in Nature. Nothing ever happens in nature that is terrible. Really, think about it. Yes things “die” but then they give birth to other things. The storms, the earthquakes, the meteorite explosions. All of it happens to expand conscious awareness of Life to Itself.

In the video I link to above, Melchizedek talks about the shift from duality frameworks Good-Bad, Male-Female, Up-Down — that human beings are obsessed with — into a new paradigm of Oneness. A recognition of our interconnectedness to all other things. There’s a lot he speaks and writes of that goes completely over my head. I’ll be the first to admit it! And that’s ok, since I’m not attached to understanding it all intellectually right now. What I can take from it is a reason to feel a little more peaceful now. I can trust that the Earth is alive and doesn’t need saving from us. That there are systems, processes and connections in place right now to bring us back to balance. And the same exists for me. As I deal with my own self-infected pain and suffering.

Peace is available now because Peace is the destination and there’s no other place to go.

Heal My Self = Heal My Life

This message has been simmering for awhile, b/c it’s even more transparent than I usually am. If you are follow me, you know I don’t hesitate to show my scars, my mistakes and my issues. Yet obviously, there’s a cap on that public category of “Nina News.” Yet, I hear so much from your posts, comments and yes, even real face-to-face conversations I sometimes have with ya’ll, that I’m noticing this low-level anxiety about much of your life. And this goes not only for the Americans, though it’s certainly predominate in our culture. We’re so concerned about environmental degradation, health malfunction, job complaints, or family stress. I can no longer blame Facebook for being an amplifier of this collective negative story that life has us all victimized. FB is only reflecting back what we are thinking/talking/acting about.worried-earth-illustration-thumb8395865

So I wanted to offer one story from my life that helped to change the course of my thinking trajectory, consequentially impacting every single aspect of my life. And before you shrug off my note as more New Age mumbo jumbo and baseless “positive thinking” as irrational optimism, I invite you to consider that you are reading this because there is a part of you that KNOWS:

Life is supposed to feel good.

During the spring semester of my junior year of college I began to experience random muscular “shimmies” (as I called them) that would later be confirmed by an UVA neurologist as something far more serious than repurposed dance moves.  I would often lose my balance, drop things, or lose complete control of my arms, legs or neck when they occurred. The shimmies happened while driving, in the shower, during exams and once while on a staircase resulting in an ER visit due to a concussion (the first and only of my life). As a 22-year-old in great health, my doctors could find no other explanation other than “seizures associated with epilepsy.” I was ordered to take daily medications, my driver’s license was revoked and all plans I had for living abroad after graduation were postponed.

Nine months of self-pity, excess weight gain, and tittering alcohol abuse found me on a massage table, crying my eyes out to the “therapist” who was a family friend. She asked me one question that softly but powerfully turned down the victimization noise (for a moment): “What do you think your body was trying to tell you?”

Two reasons why this question was significant to me at that moment:

1)      It was the first time I considered that my identity may be separate from my body

2)      That my body could communicate with that “other” part of me

So who the hell was that “Other”??

In my quest to answer that question I discovered, rather quickly, that the answer was quite heavenly. As I continue to step forward into redefining my identity as a being beyond physical and intellectual capacity, I realized the lesson my body was attempting to have me pay attention to: Accept this. Forgive past behaviors. Choose Again.

My life had become a mirror of my self-inflicting anger. Accepting  my responsibility for my beliefs, forgiving myself of my momentary misunderstanding and then ACTING on a new thought became my guiding light. Once I stopped resisting, my body healed. I never had another seizer after that spring. And whenever there is something of high importance happening in my life that is in alignment with my new identity, my body responds with a softer shimmy.

I’m not sharing this story with you simply as inspiration, (though that’s cool, if that’s all you’re taking it as) but as an invitation to walk forward with me in new uncharted territory: Financial Healing.

Recently I had a break-through ah-ha moment just as powerful as that moment on the massage table. It was a perspective of money as abundant as the ocean. Envisioning my financial “being” as valuable and communicative as my physical body. In short, it was an invitation to accept a new thought about my relationship with money. And in the midst of pre-school tuition payments, student loans, and an employer in less than ideal financial standing, I recognize that now is a perfect time to take a new action based on this new thought.

 

especially good for Mondays….

Be Happy!

Be Happy!

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to skip.
I’m going to be glad.
I’m going to smile a lot.

I’m going to be easy.

I’m going to count my blessings.
I’m going to look for reasons to feel good.
I’m going to dig up positive things from the past.
I’m going to look for positive things where I stand.
I’m going to look for positive things in the future.

It is my natural state to be a happy person.

It’s natural for me to love and to laugh.
This is what is most natural for me.

I am a happy person!

Try speaking this aloud three times as you’re moving through your Monday. I guarantee you’ll feel better!