Purpose

So I’ve been attracting a lot of information about life purpose recently. Not surprisingly, as I am deepening my own inquiry into the question of “why I’m here?” And if you’ve read many of my posts, you’re probably clear it’s not just to make money, procreate and retire on the beach. But I’ve been struggling recently because as I deepen my meditation practice there is such a peace and real tranquility in that space that is so enticing! I totally get why people move to ashrams or become monks/nuns. To utilize your physical life in pursuit for that spiritual embrace as much as possible is sooooo desirable. And in a sense much more fulfilling and easier than to live your spiritual practice in the madness of this human world.

But then I remind myself of all the great teachers who have blessed  my life because: #1 they chose (or perhaps felt called) to be a voice for spiritual principal rather than live by the status quo and #2 they integrated those principals into the political and advocacy work they influenced around them. If it wasn’t for that choice so many millions would have be left without some element of their gift, their wisdom, their inspiration.

Aung San Suu Kyi

san-suu-kyi

Leymah Gbowee & Deepak Choprad38ded546224bc9805a668b36ec6351c1_34Sai baba

sathyaBabaGrandmothers Council

council_of_grandmothersHis Holiness the Dalai Lama & Desmond Tutu

dalai_lama_south_africa_09_27_2011I’m reminded that each in their own way invite us to serve. To serve those in physical poverty, to serve those in mental poverty either of which evolves our collective capacity to see one another as part of our human family.

So while I consider moving to northern India, I’ll have to continue to live this life I’ve created as a professional, a mother, a musician, an older sister, a facilitator and a social peace advocate. I have to create a way to live my spiritual practice and not limit my moments of zen to my meditation pillow or the hours around dawn. One of my favorite teachers, Marianne Williamson speaks on this a lot, calling for spiritual people to not dissect their presence from the world and its challenges, but to fully integrate themselves into being the answer.

I’ll end this post with a beautiful quote by Eckhart Tolle:

Dear Friend,

May I suggest a deeper and somewhat unusual perspective on who you are?

You are not just a person, and you are not IN the Universe.
You ARE the Universe, which IN YOU is awakening, experiencing itself, becoming conscious. That consciousness is who you are in essence. We are all fleeting expressions of it. The Universe awakens THROUGH experiencing challenges and limitations. That means YOU awaken and deepen through your challenges, as does humanity as a whole. So welcome or at least accept all that life brings you. Change what can be changed, otherwise surrender to what IS. Feel the Presence within you as the background to every experience. Know that, as Jesus put it, “you are the light of the world.”

Matrix, Abraham-Hicks & Conciousness

I promised a friend a few months ago I would send her a list of some of my favorite spiritual books. I’ve resisted the request and only recently asked myself why. The honest response was another question, which didn’t help clarify the underlying reasons. Don’t you hate it when logical requests are undermined by your own thinking? So I’m writing this post as an explanation of my tardiness and including some of the resources that have been transformative in my journey.

Why do I have to be this spiritual?

I started this blog as a way to share some of the small moments of peace that arise in my life, wanting to expand the definition of what peace was about, beyond the absence of conflict. As I  experience peace as balance, calm, serenity, gratitude and contentment, I am constantly reminded of how fleeting these moments are. My journey continues to be a roller coaster ride of dips and hills, highs and lows, moments ‘in the vortex‘ and many more spent out of balance, riding the trains of dis-ease and fear. But even in the lowest of lows while I excavate the ancient caves of my own conciousness, there is always this annoying small voice that reminds me that I’m making this all up. All the meaning is meaningless, as all experience is reduced only to choice. Remember that scene in Matrix, when Smith asks Neo why he keeps fighting?

This scene is the most profound in the entire trilogy. Most people don’t think about why they live life as they do, relying on others to make decisions for them about philosophy, social behavior, political and economic persuasions. I too float along these currents based on the cultural views I was born into or resonated with over time. However, unlike most people I’ve interacted with in my 3 decades on this planet, that annoying whisper reminds me that at the heart of every decision was a choice. Which means every behavior is calculated reaction based on a value system I agreed to. In this way my spiritual journey has become a constant process of  self-examination. A huge microscope into my internal decision-making. It’s freakin’ exhausting sometimes. And other times it’s simply awe-inspiring.

So now I realize why I hesitated, because folks should know what they’re getting themselves into if they begin this journey. It can be challenging and lonely, because once you break through the illusion that life is about consumerism and pleasuring the body in order to create a tiny circle of control over your life …. outwards experiences pale in comparison to the grandeur of the intersection of mind and spirit.

moving_toward_the_consciousness

When I healed myself of epilepsy, I made a promise to pay attention. To stay attentive to the why. To will myself to continue the exploration. And it also means trusting that others will cross paths with me to mature that understanding with perfectly timed opportunity for practice. So this is what the day holds, another chance to choose.

…maybe this time I’ll choose something a little more aligned with peace.

What will you choose?