Manifesting. You in?

WhatAreYouManifesting

Life is pretty incredible when you think about it.

You’re breathing.

Thousands of electrical and web-based services are aligning perfecting in order for you to see and read these words.

The sun is shining. You may not see it from where you are, but it is. Always.

And the thoughts you had last week, or last year are probably showing up as form for you today. Hmmmm…maybe I’ll keep this post first-person and say they are for me.

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My journey with manifesting, transforming thought energy into form, has been incredible. There are lots of folks out there with various definitions and processes and many have influenced my experience, but I’m careful not to take any One description over my own experience. This shit is the definition of subjective.

I choose to experience manifestation as a partnership with my guardian angels, higher (more evolved) Self(s) and sweet infusion of power that is the ether of the Universe. My life here on Plaent Earth, is simply a collaborative art project we’re creating together, but which I have the delight in orchestrating.

I get to manifest colds, happy days, wealth, walks in the park, poverty, cramps, orgasms, poetry, and millions of other experiences, behaviors and states of being. Outside of my life I contribute to the energetic states of others and what they are manifesting based solely on their agreement or disagreement with what I’m putting into their mind. For example, I have a pretty strong minded six-year-old son. Sometime, however, he does believe what I tell him about himself. For example, one day I tell him he is so messy. Over the course of the next few weeks he starts to believe it and makes more unapologetic mess. And after complaining about it, reminds me that I was the one that told him he was messy.

Right.

This is what manifestation looks like in my life, even within my own head. I used to have have an internal story in my mind (well ok, it still plays from time to time) that I was fat. No matter what the evidence told me, I knew my thighs were too wide, but belly too bouncy and my butt too …well actually I was ok with having a large arse.

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At my heaviest I weighed 175. Some would say that’s not so bad for an active woman in her thirties. But I was ashamed by it. Embarrassed. Frustrated. Slightly angry at my seemingly inability to not…buy…the…damn…gummies….again.

Whenever I focused on losing weight, I gained more. I tried dieting and expanded. I tried new workout routine (although I confess was never 100% committed) which failed. I tried just cutting out junk food, which didn’t last past my next menstrual cycle. So I went back to what works for me: writing.

I journaled for a few months exploring the reason why I held on to this weight. Why was I manifesting heaviness? How did the pounds serve me? Was I protecting myself from the outside world in some way? If so, what was I afraid of?

This exploration paid off. Once I found the core reason for why I was manifesting weight (for protection) and told myself I’m ready to let that go, it began to dissolve. Of course, not overnight…but within a few months I was 20 pounds lighter, without a simple change to diet or exercise.

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I share this story because manifesting is a gift. If we believe in the premise that we are creating our lives, then we have to accept that we created all of it. No that wasn’t easy to hear when I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 23. But it was empowering to utilize when I healed myself at 25 (seizure free since!).

Manifesting is an invitation to really explore what it is we think about our worth, our experience of balance in joy and in uncomfortable growth. I remember when nearly every area of my life felt like it was breaking down: my relationships, my finances, my profession (or lack thereof at that time), my sense of self. Yet there was one place I felt strong, in my ability to parent. And knowing that I felt strong and capable in that helped me to realign and trust myself (and my angel team) to rebuild my life.

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Today my life is incredible.

I have an awesome partner who adores me. Cucumbers growing in my garden. Delightful spaces to be vulnerable with those close to me. A gorgeous home with nourishing crystals. Financial security I only imagined was possible a few years ago. A deepening sense of awe for my self and this beautiful journey. And a break-dance loving little boy who delights in reminding me how to play.

Now it’s you’re turn. Tag! What are you manifesting today?

Masterful Manifesting

His eyes glistened. His words radiated through the theater quickening my heart with their tonality of strength and raw vulnerability. For a moment, the actor on stage was replaced with a beautiful young man, connected to the deep energetic essence of who he truly was. This was no longer a portrayal of imagination. He was sharing truth. And it lit up my heart.

I leaned over to my friend in the seat next to me and whispered, “I’m going to prom with that boy.”

With the dance only a few weeks away, she arched her eyebrows and responded with, “Ummm, do you even know him?”

I answered simply, “I will.”

I was sixteen when I first began to consciously attract what I wanted to experience. This is the essence of manifesting. That spring I was introduced to Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh, a trilogy that completely transformed my Christian upbringing and paradigm for viewing the world and my place in it. At the same time, the wisdom I recognized in CwG, was familiar, particularly the idea that God meant for life to feel good and for us to have what we desired. Heart-felt desire is the body’s alignment with the Soul’s intention. Desire can be utilized as a pendulum to gauge how to move forward. In the story I describe above, opening my heart to my future boyfriend and following that desire created a new trajectory of joy for my teen-age self. And yes, we had a fabulous time at Prom.

In the fifteen years since that day I’ve attracted many wonderful and thankfully fewer not so enjoyable experiences, people, financial situations and health status’. When I step back to review my life in this way I see the gift in each and every experience and I have to marvel at how genius Source/God/Spirit is to align everything so masterfully that I might grow and expand my understanding.

One area that I examine frequently is my love life.

Many of my beliefs started out defining love as romantic love because yea, I grew up on Disney movies and wanted a prince of my own. This limited definition of love has continued to hold a tight grip on my understanding and experience of love. My choice to believe that love was limited to its expression as romance or mothering was a reason many of my early love-relationships fizzled out. My choice to believe that love could withstand control and manipulation was one of the reasons my marriage dissolved. My choice to believe that love comes first from the outside and filters within was the reason it took me so long to finally get comfortable in my own skin.

Thankfully I’ve grown up and my ideas about love have grown up too. The progression of love I manifested into my life have mimicked my beliefs about love, including its limitations, its way of expression and its self-production. I’m finally at the point (on most days) where I feel a deep satisfaction for the quality of love in my life. Primarily, because I feel it from within. Yet every so often I yearn for the attachments I have to love appearing in a particular way:

princess delusions… boy-cinderella-girl-love-prince-princess-Favim.com-100965

overly dramatic… (but jeeze, wasn’t this film beautiful!?!?)notebook_hug

neediness…I-need-you-I-miss-you-I-love-you-3-love-10112773-1024-768

attachment to forever…US_NEWS_INTERRACIALCOUPLES_2_CC

So instead of giving these images so much attention, I’m learning to focus my manifestation energy on REAL LOVE.

  • Appreciation of continual growth and expansion.

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  • Recognition that I’m on the planet to be more than a wife and mother.
Women Who Look Ahead by Monica Stewart, monicastewart.com

Women Who Look Ahead by Monica Stewart, monicastewart.com

  • Acceptance that self-love is at its core about surrender. And surrender is about…

Trust

Trust in a universal mind that’s got my back. A consciousness that has already proven Itself a million times more effective in delivering me the good I most need at that exact moment. This is why love feels real when it’s about surrender rather than control. When it highlights vulnerability rather than manipulation. This is the type of love I’m manifesting into my life now. And it feels magnificent.

Yesterday, I came across (or was presented with) this video of Gabrielle Union sharing some of her journey to a similar awareness of self-love and manifesting a new way of being. I so rarely see actors be themselves, so was particularly amazed to see her vulnerability and the number of risks she takes to share her story. It influenced Oprah to have her on her show, which often correlates for me that it’s meaningful to listen to. I would love to hear your comments.

 

Lastly, I’m listing out some of my favorite books on the power of manifesting, in case it proves useful for your journey as well.

Life Visioning, Micheal Benard Beckwith

The Vortex, Ester & Jerry Hicks

Building Your Field of Dreams, Mary Morressy

Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity, Edwine Gaines